I do not apologize

How the fuck do you not know how to roulette in SMB3? How the fuck do people not understand the dice in mario party? Are you people god damn stupid?

SMB3 Roulette you literally time the animation via the position on the screen and you let the first line roll over 2 animation reels, bam you have stars, or flowers, ta da. If you can't hit the spot, you suck.

Mario party is admittedly difficult because you have to track 3 or 4 rotational planes, depending on what they have turned on for options for the die, you have to pay attention to the sound, and you have to count. Sometimes I have to sit through 3 whole rotations to get a 10, but I will fucking sit there waiting for everyone to shut up just to get that star.

I wonder about posting guides, but then I know I'll be scientifically picked apart by people who don't keep hitting 10's. Do I know why my methods work? No. Do I ask? No. I do the math, I win the game.

For fucks sake instead of sitting and shitting and crying about it why don't you actually learn to use a toilet and flush like an adult. My fucking god gamers are so utterly fucking stupid.

Someone, god, anyone, Jeff, strike me down. Kill me.

I don't really know how to feel about any of this at the moment, but maybe it'll jog someone else.

After lunch today, I heard something that made me dig around in my memory a bit and help make sense of a lot of BS. Apparently ADHD meds can in fact make shit worse. Like, sure you get things done now, but you almost certainly are depressed and hate existing if you are like.... 8. When I was a kid I had ADD/HD issues and I was prescribed meds. Prior to that I kind of minded my own business, but after that I was more inclined to do what others said more.

Overall what this meant is I was used as a tool instead of joining a tennis team or skateboarding. This has severely bummed me out for a dangerous amount of time, and really only now realizing it, I'm almost deciding I just don't give too much of a shit about whats stressing me out or making me mad about nearby social nonsense, I'm just going and kicking people out of my way and doing shit.

I guess I sort of knew this was bumming me out, I just didn't know how much it was actually making everything else difficult. Turns out I'm sorta good at skateboarding and I can't even do too much yet. Actually, turns out, tennis groups are popping up in my town right now. Turns out I wasn't really listening to myself.

Do yourself a favor. If you feel like this, or have felt... mmmm.... stunted? Stop everything. Right now. Fuck whatever you're doing that you would rather be beating yourself against a wall than do, go do whatever the fuck it is you need to do. If it turns out you need a better job, do it. Better friends? Fuck who you're with. You wanna do what I'm doing and bum around hacking laptops and riding skateboards? LITERALLY WHO CARES FUCKING DO IT.

Turns out that modern times are no different than the 1700's. The only difference is the slave trade is a job application to your nearest soul sucking corporate shitstorm, which is about 90% of everywhere now.

AMAZON LITERALLY HAS SELF UNRAVELING BOOTHS, FUCKING THINK ABOUT THAT

I've decided enough is enough. I don't need to post to youtube. I don't need to work for amway or walmart. Hell, I don't even need to go to college. What I need is to give a shit about what I need to get done, and do direct, real world applicable methods to achieve those.

For you? Go to school, get whatever the fuck job in whatever office complex. Personally I'm gunna go get a tradie job learning welding, and probably will live in an RV. Fuck this bullshit.

I got shit to do.

I am so god damned hype.

I have this piece of garbage that I got from toys R us when they were closing. Got it for 18 bucks.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08C1TDC1B/ref=sw_img_1?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&th=1

Its not this one exactly, but now that I have seen this deck I WANT IT REALLY BAD LOL. Mines gray like a sweatshirt.

Well today I decided to break my depression a little bit and get new trucks. As it turns out, I only really needed one, but the new mid-soft bushings that I got with the trucks are the nicest bushings I have ever even felt. I got some Purple trucks from Thunder.

Zumiez seems to always have a sale, so rather than 32 a pop they were 25, and I got some bolts cuz mine were ugly hardware store bolts from Krypt.

I'm not even joking when I say I put the trucks on, stepped on it, and immediately stepped off it and stared at it. My board isn't supposed to feel......good. My board feels like a badly balanced piece of garbage and I've had to get hard bushings to actually control the board.

Now I have staggered trucks AND THE MOTHERFUCKING THING TURNS AAAAAAAA

I HAVE ENOUGH CONFIDENCE THAT I CAN SLIDE AROUND AND NOT GIVE A SHIT AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY

I CAN BOMB A SMALL HILL IN A PARKING LOT

I DID A GOOD OLLIE AND A GOOD MILKSHAKE AND DIDN'T BREAK MY ASS

I'm not even joking when I say 20 years of my life has been completely made up for today.

Oh my god

This will ultimately fail I feel, but here goes.

Add NonBlog / Muppet Content to NG Movies

Define NonBlog / Muppet Content:

Much of the content sphere on the net today is focused on getting your attention, keeping you in your seat, and getting money from you. Many of these are videos where some idiot is in front of a wall or set flapping his shitlocker about some stupid bullshit that you have probably already heard about, or don't really need to because its likely garbage information.

So, in defiinition, Blogging / Muppet content basically means anything where the sole focus is the channel holder / an "IRL Nickelodeon" show carryover who couldn't actually get the balls to keep a job, so now they are on youtube telling you stories, or talking about drama... Or playing games.

As much as people would hate me for saying this, but I'm kinda over all the gameplay bullshit and the podcasts and really just the whole thing. Its like I'm in god damn middle school again and I really just do not care to be in everyones bullshit. Its forcing introverts to be extroverts, and I just don't work that way.

NonBlog/Muppet Content should focus solely on what you are doing, creating, or showing other people how to do it themselves.

There can be voice over, or notes on screen, but the whole video should be 3-4 minutes long, 6 at max, and you should be showing something that you like to do.

For example, I am revving up to skate, and honestly, I want to show people. But I don't want to deal with algorithmic crap. Just, hey, I did a thing. No money no fame no nothing, just someone who did a sick skateline and is showing you how to get good video off a camera from 1998.

I am so tired of the way things are, I'd rather ditch everything and try something completely new.

I need to start using NG again. FB is trash, youtube is literally built to trap you there, I get nothing done.

uwu I feel at home here anyways

I'd do a diff mood if any of them applied.

Also this centering is neat...  I like the new editor.

Been having a rough time lately.  Where to start really...  I guess personal problems are hard for anyone to throw out, even on a backwoods site like this.  Lately I've been thinking about what I really want to do with myself.  What my interests are.  Am I going to get a job and just hate my day in day out?  I haven't needed to yet since my family lives on a farm so I take care of the livestock and then work on linux stuff and write all day.  It probably has warped my personal expectations of what I think I am really capable of.  Haven't gotten a license yet because I don't care to really go anywhere, haven't followed up on college stuff because my first attempt was a mess, and really just done with a lot of the stuff I've had to deal with lately.  I need a change.  I am becoming a NEET and thats not exactly healthy, though the farmwork keeps my strength up perfectly fine.  Heh, I'm half scared that once I leave the farm that I'll lose all my strength and just not have that anymore...

I guess I could work out but that always looked retarded to me.  Its not as good as moving logs, managing animals, stacking hay...

On top of all of that I haven't been able to sleep for, now, 2 years straight!  Hooray!  So thats why the title is Yawn.  I mean I sleep, but literally a car passing on the road wakes me up.  And fuck sleeping pills, my depression could kick over on a random day and I'll take 40 or some dumb shit like that.  NO THANKS.

Though, the whole depression thing has been off to the side lately, which is nice.  Been knee deep in podcasts for the last year which is distracting enough for that.  Been trying to ween off my youtube...  addiction? with podcasts.  I don't think I can call it an addiction but just like when I was a kid, probabyl you too, just mindlessly watching cartoons and not wanting to do much else.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a spare NPC or background character.  I think I said this in my last post too but I'm too lazy to read back.  Its like I know what I like to do, but to translate that to a job would be....  Well difficult.  Hacking hardware for a job would probably not be as fun as what I like to do.  MicroControllers vs my shitty pentium M laptops with DDR2.  Heh.

I'm scattered, but its whats at the forefront of my brain.  I can't really help the scatter any more than what I'm doing now.

IDK what I'm going to do though.  Lately I've been thinking about Japan a lot.  Not even in a weeb way, I just want to go there.  Get lost in the woods somewhere and end up at a fishing town.  Walk up a mountain and chill at a shrine.  Been following buddhism since I dropped out of college, just as a practice to really calm myself down.  I have annger issues so I think it helps...  Had some thoughts about different Japanese streets in my head, anyways.  Thought about drawing them out and posting them here.  Good practice for my tablet.

Not sure theres much else to throw out.  Not sure I feel better about anything but good to have something somewhere.

NG was always my place.  I want a reason to use it again.

Today was busy.  Between farm work and some debug stuff plus being terribly tired.  Been tired lately...  Maybe diet change?

Been stuck into games again...  Took a forced break for a while and started biking.  I live on top of a hill thats a few hundred meters tall so to go to town I have to walk up the huge hill.  The town is more in whats left of the greater northern river valley so its a pain to go anywhere really.

Been into rust.  Its a pain because I had to patch EAC on my first day, but after that I've had fun with it.  Been in TF2 like crazy too, so its bouncing between them.

Not much else to note.

lel does anyone look at these anymore.

Since I've been back I've been trying to think of some art to do for the site. I a;ready have a sh*t load to post but then I have to spend a few hours at a scanner at my grandma's house and for all I know that piece of crap will explode, but that's beside the point. I need some more ideas for some art. Kinda done with Sarume, like forever, so don't bother asking for any with her. I might if you have something to encourage me with, but... otherwise no. Still doing sonic stuff, but not on my alt acc, staying on this one, I think, so go at it. Launch sh*t at me. INSPIRE ME DAMMIT....

hell i might leave the site. i am trying to please my frnds as best i can, but they aremad at me for my art. I keep tryin to change it, but i can't, so im leaving. you can reach me at you tube as airgunner117

ph4nt0m out