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2017-10-30 12:44:32 by PH4NT0M117

I'd do a diff mood if any of them applied.

Also this centering is neat...  I like the new editor.

Been having a rough time lately.  Where to start really...  I guess personal problems are hard for anyone to throw out, even on a backwoods site like this.  Lately I've been thinking about what I really want to do with myself.  What my interests are.  Am I going to get a job and just hate my day in day out?  I haven't needed to yet since my family lives on a farm so I take care of the livestock and then work on linux stuff and write all day.  It probably has warped my personal expectations of what I think I am really capable of.  Haven't gotten a license yet because I don't care to really go anywhere, haven't followed up on college stuff because my first attempt was a mess, and really just done with a lot of the stuff I've had to deal with lately.  I need a change.  I am becoming a NEET and thats not exactly healthy, though the farmwork keeps my strength up perfectly fine.  Heh, I'm half scared that once I leave the farm that I'll lose all my strength and just not have that anymore...

I guess I could work out but that always looked retarded to me.  Its not as good as moving logs, managing animals, stacking hay...

On top of all of that I haven't been able to sleep for, now, 2 years straight!  Hooray!  So thats why the title is Yawn.  I mean I sleep, but literally a car passing on the road wakes me up.  And fuck sleeping pills, my depression could kick over on a random day and I'll take 40 or some dumb shit like that.  NO THANKS.

Though, the whole depression thing has been off to the side lately, which is nice.  Been knee deep in podcasts for the last year which is distracting enough for that.  Been trying to ween off my youtube...  addiction? with podcasts.  I don't think I can call it an addiction but just like when I was a kid, probabyl you too, just mindlessly watching cartoons and not wanting to do much else.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a spare NPC or background character.  I think I said this in my last post too but I'm too lazy to read back.  Its like I know what I like to do, but to translate that to a job would be....  Well difficult.  Hacking hardware for a job would probably not be as fun as what I like to do.  MicroControllers vs my shitty pentium M laptops with DDR2.  Heh.

I'm scattered, but its whats at the forefront of my brain.  I can't really help the scatter any more than what I'm doing now.

IDK what I'm going to do though.  Lately I've been thinking about Japan a lot.  Not even in a weeb way, I just want to go there.  Get lost in the woods somewhere and end up at a fishing town.  Walk up a mountain and chill at a shrine.  Been following buddhism since I dropped out of college, just as a practice to really calm myself down.  I have annger issues so I think it helps...  Had some thoughts about different Japanese streets in my head, anyways.  Thought about drawing them out and posting them here.  Good practice for my tablet.

Not sure theres much else to throw out.  Not sure I feel better about anything but good to have something somewhere.

NG was always my place.  I want a reason to use it again.

Today was busy.  Between farm work and some debug stuff plus being terribly tired.  Been tired lately...  Maybe diet change?

Been stuck into games again...  Took a forced break for a while and started biking.  I live on top of a hill thats a few hundred meters tall so to go to town I have to walk up the huge hill.  The town is more in whats left of the greater northern river valley so its a pain to go anywhere really.

Been into rust.  Its a pain because I had to patch EAC on my first day, but after that I've had fun with it.  Been in TF2 like crazy too, so its bouncing between them.

Not much else to note.

I guess I'm alive

2017-08-02 01:51:21 by PH4NT0M117

lel does anyone look at these anymore.

lright.... So....

2011-05-29 11:10:54 by PH4NT0M117

Since I've been back I've been trying to think of some art to do for the site. I a;ready have a sh*t load to post but then I have to spend a few hours at a scanner at my grandma's house and for all I know that piece of crap will explode, but that's beside the point. I need some more ideas for some art. Kinda done with Sarume, like forever, so don't bother asking for any with her. I might if you have something to encourage me with, but... otherwise no. Still doing sonic stuff, but not on my alt acc, staying on this one, I think, so go at it. Launch sh*t at me. INSPIRE ME DAMMIT....

hell i might leave the site. i am trying to please my frnds as best i can, but they aremad at me for my art. I keep tryin to change it, but i can't, so im leaving. you can reach me at you tube as airgunner117

ph4nt0m out

to DJkillswitch

2010-08-28 00:59:40 by PH4NT0M117

if you want to, i can teach u to scratch.

also my other account is amyrosefan117

(no topic)

2010-08-26 17:26:04 by PH4NT0M117

just write something

the story of sarume

2010-08-04 09:59:54 by PH4NT0M117

im going to make a background of sarmes life, care to help?

the story of sarume

so throw the comments at me!!

im taking requests for sarume art!


2010-08-02 11:36:20 by PH4NT0M117

Give me some ideas for art, and ill do it